"We Write Our Own Jokes."

At The Náströnd, we believe that satire is a uniquely human coping mechanism. It requires nuance, timing, and a specific type of existential dread that an algorithm simply cannot replicate.

As such, the use of Generative AI (such as ChatGPT, Claude, Gemini, Midjourney, DALL-E, etc.) is strictly prohibited for the creation of any content published in this paper.

Here is why we are keeping the robots out of the newsroom.

The Ethics

Generative AI models are trained by scraping billions of words and images from the internet, often without the consent, credit, or compensation of the original artists and writers.

We are Creators, not Aggregators

As a publication, we respect the creative process. Using AI to generate a "style" of writing or art is essentially laundering plagerism through a server.

The Soul Factor

Satire works because it connects with the human experience. An AI can string words together, but it doesn't know what it feels like to fail a math test or smell the locker rooms. If you didn't feel the pain, you haven't earned the joke.

Academic Integrity

We hold ourselves to the same (or higher) standards as your English teacher. If you wouldn't turn it in for an essay, don't turn it in for the paper.

The Environmental Argument

While The Náströnd enjoys "roasting" the administration, we do not enjoy roasting the planet.

Energy Consumption

Generative AI is incredibly energy-intensive. Generating a single AI image can use as much energy as fully charging a smartphone. Training these models consumes gigawatt-hours of electricity.

Water Usage

Data centers require massive amounts of water for cooling. Writing a generic article using AI essentially evaporates a gallon of fresh water from the ocean.

The Bottom Line

We refuse to increase our carbon footprint just to generate a mediocre headline. We are Vikings; we like nature. We’d prefer not to melt the actual ice caps just to generate a picture of a fake one.

What is Prohibited?

To be clear, the following uses are banned:

Drafting

Asking AI to write articles, paragraphs, or sentances.

Ideation

Asking AI to "come up with 10 funny headlines about the cafeteria."

Imagery

Using AI image generators (Midjourney, DALL-E) to create art for articles. Our human artists need the practice, and their drawings have more character (and the correct number of fingers).

Permitted Tools

We are strict, not Luddites. We may use standard algorithmic tools that assist—but do not replace—the writer. For example, tools like Spellcheck or Grammarly (for basic grammar only) are allowed, while any tool with a "Draft with AI" or "Rewrite this for me" button are not.