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In a shocking exposé, an anonymous whistleblower has declared that the Associated Student Body (ASB) Congress is “less effective than an absolute kakistocratic monarchy.” The whistleblower’s report, leaked during lunch period via an Instagram story with the caption “#WakeUpLSHS,” has left students simultaneously amused, confused,…

Lake Stevens, WA Lake Stevens High School students received a triumphant announcement this week: the district fully supports their right to stage a walkout—as long as they do so 2.5 miles away, in the pre-dawn hours, and preferably where nobody can actually see them. “Student…